Movement as Metaphor
I discovered White Crane Silat when I was 25 and could immediately feel that it was for me. I spent many of my early years in classical ballet and my college years doing yoga, world dances, and partner dancing, but hadn’t yet found “my thing”. I was looking for a physical practice that had both the healthy alignment of yoga with the expression, rhythm and flow of dance. So in 2003 and introduced to an amazing French woman named Flora Bardet. At the time she was twice my age and she embodied all the things I wanted to develop in myself. In Flora I saw this wonderful lightness, femininity and laughter dancing on a grounded and centered foundation of crystal clear and effortless boundaries. And she agreed to take me on. I found my teacher.
What part of your practice do you love most?
My favorite thing to practice are my long movements, the long forms. When I practice I feel connected with the ground. I feel centered, balanced and lifted. I feel light and flowing. I feel clear, powerful, intentional and direct. Each form has its own personality. I’m not thinking, I’m hearing the rhythm of the form. They each have their unique inner music - compositions of syncopated swishes and various percussive sounds. Afterward I feel powerful, like I can do anything.
What has challenged you in your practice?
I have a congenital scoliosis, so that challenges me, but it also inspires me. It does give me pain every day, but it drives me to continue improving myself, to get stronger, to tune my body to its best possible. Yes, wellness. The body has been a big challenge.
Another thing I find challenging is the sense of competition that can sometimes be present between people. I want to be myself and live my best possible life and I wish the same for everybody. It’s sad when others project their insecurities and are unkind and judgemental based on their perception of my intelligence, choices, appearance, skill, or success. As women we have a wonderful opportunity to stand together and be stronger together. I so appreciate the people who are able to see past past the small stuff.
How would you define success?
I would define success as the capacity to live your own dreams. To find yourself on your own chosen path. Self-actualization.
I think it’s impossible to get there alone. I think to the times in my life when I had the least support and that is when I was able to accomplish the least. How can a person move forward and create when scrambling to survive? We all need support, kindness and cooperation.
Are there any issues particularly close to your heart?
I think we all need a wake up call about the long history of institutionalized inequality that has systematically disempowered people in this country based on race and gender. I am in favor of a strong public heath system and affirmative type actions in education.
Who and why do you teach?
I like to work with women because I can empower them with lessons that haven't traditionally been given to women. For example, creating clear boundaries: with the silat practice we teach the body how to do it. The body is a metaphor and delivers the lesson directly to the mind, we don’t have to even talk about it. Through repeated practice we integrate the movements and the underlying concepts become natural for the body and mind. Often, when women are shown how to parry for the first time they experience a big revelation: “if I don’t like something coming at me I can move it to the side, and if that’s not enough I can move out of the way! And it doesn’t have to be hard and no one has to get hurt!” I find this especially the case in working with women older than myself. They didn’t learn it in ballet class, choir, home ec. I’ve watched sixty year old women find their power this way... And three year old girls.
One evening before bed I began showing my 3 year old how to parry a very slow punch. The look of wonder, personal satisfaction, and glee was all over her face as she redirected my slowly approaching fist. We could see she felt powerful, empowered with the tool for directing her surroundings in a calm way. I think learning to parry is an important lesson for children who demonstrate aggression. Aggression manifests when we feel our surroundings are out of our control or understanding - the fight or flight response, hide or use force. The simple exercise of using the body to parry a slow and pretend "punch" empowers the mind with the idea that our surroundings are actually navigable. That's the first step. Then as the movements become more sophisticated, so do our capacities to navigate "situations". We realize we have this enormous tool box of options. You can move under, over, around, use a palm, fist, elbow, knee, kick.. change a situation entirely with just a turn of the wrist. The movements are metaphors for life.
You’ve spoken a lot about empowerment. What does that mean to you?
When I say empowerment I mean a sense of agency and capacity, specifically to defend one’s own civil liberties.
Who are your teachers and role models?
I’d say my daughter is an important teacher for me. Since I left the silat school in Indonesia she has given me the most regular applied practice with my martial art - it’s constant parrying, dodging, grounding, catching, and staying in my center, not using force to redirect her energy, staying calm, maintaining a pleasant air. Of all the lessons I learned from Suhu Gunawan Rahardja, the grandmaster or White Crane Silat, beyond any of the majestic forms or techniques, the most profound transmission he gave me was “Relax! Smile! Enjoy!” Something I practice with my daughter every day. Suhu has been a very important teacher, not to mention his profound generosity in opening his home to me when I needed one. Ibu Hetty Rahardja, wife of Suhu and a great martial artist in her own right, is a great role model for me. She has immense grace, calm, caring, and benevolence - Indonesian and Western students traipse through her house from 8AM-10PM, all week long, dripping water on her floors, eating her family’s rice, and rarely a moment of quiet. In generosity she is a true master and I aspire to her calm brow and sense of humor. And of course Flora Bardet who I spoke so highly of earlier was my first silat teacher. She took me on, opened her heart and this path for me. I will always practice silat a little bit her way. I’m grateful to so many people, I could go on and on.
What is your favorite part of ILMU Couture?
Well I love that I created it (with a little help from my friends). I love the quality and feel of the natural fabrics, the locally made footprint. I really love the pants because they have had the longest evolution and have taken the most work, meditation and inspiration. I love the headbands because they stay put and are just want I need to keep my hair in check when I practice. The formal jackets are also just the layer I seem to need - since my own practice is rarely formal, I use them more for dressing up to go out or as an easy sun cover. The jacket also made a great drape when I was nursing. And the haramaki is so great - I can look elegant in my ILMU jacket, and keep secretly warm and cozy underneath. I love the versatility to use the haramaki as a scarf or to change up the feeling with some breast armor.
Breast armor?!
You never know what’s coming. I like to be prepared. In my observations, the heart can be more open when it feels warm and protected.
